Skip to main content

Goals and Expectations

I had an epiphany last year, in the middle of all the ankle trials, that there will come a day when I won't be able to dance anymore.  I'm not ready for it to be quite so soon, so I promised myself that I would try to do something amazing when my ankle healed.

My goal? To audition for the Rockettes. I'm mildly insane, I know (those ladies work HARD, and long hours. But they also get to wear amazing costumes.)

I'm still working my way through my feelings about this decision:
  • Me: Why not? I have a strong ballet background and do decently in jazz and tap (though I need to work on the latter two a bit). I definitely won't embarrass myself.
  • Also Me: I'm insane, everyone else who auditions is 10+ years younger than I am. I'm too old, I definitely won't make it.
  • Me: But maybe I could?
  • Also Me: Girl, no , you can't even do wings in tap yet.
  • Me: Whatever. It would still be an amazing experience to go to Radio City and dance!
My larger plan is to have a whole New York Dance Adventure--visit pointe shoe shops, take class at Steps, audition, actually go see a performance (ABT or NYCB)--make it fun!

Of course, putting this plan into action is proving a little more difficult than I had originally anticipated. My body is not cooperating.

I just turned 36 and by the time I get healthy and strong enough to try to audition (next spring or fall), I'll be close to or at age 37. That's old in the dance world (unless you're Alessandra Ferri).

I feel like I'm starting to feel the age thing, which is annoying. Things get grumpy much more easily than they used to (hi, lower back and hamstrings). Of course, I'm totally out of shape from lack of dancing, so maybe its just that?

I'm trying really hard not to be so hard on myself, but sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't *really* danced in over a year. Of course I have no strength. Of course my calves don't match. It just takes time, and I'm impatient.

On the other hand, yea I'm not 20 anymore. But at the same time I can't help but feel like I dance better NOW than I did when I was younger. I mean..I didn't get triple pirouettes until just a couple years ago--I never had triples in my teens/20s! So...maybe the impossible can be possible.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Elevé Dancewear

Last week, Poets & Pirouettes reviewed a custom leotard she ordered from Lone Reed Designs , and sparked my interest in trying an independent designer the next time I want a custom leotard.  We started having a conversation about my experience ordering from Elev é Dancewear , and I realized, "Duh, Jackie! You have a blog now! You should review and talk about those leotards in detail there instead of hijacking the comments section of this post!"  (Sorry m'dear!)  Also, I've determined that P&P and I could be horrible enablers for each other (in the best possible way). (As an aside, you should go follow her blog , she is an amazing writer and fabulous to boot). Now, let's get down to business and talk about Elev é . 

A Week With ArtÉmotion

At the beginning of June, I traveled to Salt Lake City for the  artÉmotion Adult Ballet Summer Intensive , and it was THE BEST THING EVER. The classes were amazing, the teachers were amazing, the other dancers were amazing...I could go on and on. Plus Salt Lake City had some pretty amazing weather (sunny and hot all week, which I love). To sum up (I'll go into greater detail below), I HIGHLY recommend it and would do it again. In a heartbeat. With exclamation points!!  Side note: my ankle did fine, and I wasn't nearly as sore as I expected. More details on the program below for those that are curious.

Getting Older Sucks & Other Updates

I'm sure my fellow adult dancers can commiserate. What's the most frustrating, as someone who grew up dancing, is that I can't do things I used to be able to do. I was always a jumper growing up (especially grand allegro) and now I feel like I can't even get off the floor. Petit allegro is miserable for similar reasons, but also because I cannot get my brain and body to sync. I know the exercise beforehand and can mark it just fine, but once I actually start jumping my body just won't GO. I'm not sure how much of this is still weakness from not being able to dance for awhile and how much is...well...age. Ugh. Weirdly, though, I can do triple pirouettes now and never got those as a teen, so maybe its all in my head. Anyhoodle--updates! Ankle is definitely better--I finally finished PT last month! My flexibility still doesn't quite match on that side, so plies can be a little weird (especially in jumps...hmm). Its happiest when I'm using it-