Skip to main content

Goals and Expectations

I had an epiphany last year, in the middle of all the ankle trials, that there will come a day when I won't be able to dance anymore.  I'm not ready for it to be quite so soon, so I promised myself that I would try to do something amazing when my ankle healed.

My goal? To audition for the Rockettes. I'm mildly insane, I know (those ladies work HARD, and long hours. But they also get to wear amazing costumes.)

I'm still working my way through my feelings about this decision:
  • Me: Why not? I have a strong ballet background and do decently in jazz and tap (though I need to work on the latter two a bit). I definitely won't embarrass myself.
  • Also Me: I'm insane, everyone else who auditions is 10+ years younger than I am. I'm too old, I definitely won't make it.
  • Me: But maybe I could?
  • Also Me: Girl, no , you can't even do wings in tap yet.
  • Me: Whatever. It would still be an amazing experience to go to Radio City and dance!
My larger plan is to have a whole New York Dance Adventure--visit pointe shoe shops, take class at Steps, audition, actually go see a performance (ABT or NYCB)--make it fun!

Of course, putting this plan into action is proving a little more difficult than I had originally anticipated. My body is not cooperating.

I just turned 36 and by the time I get healthy and strong enough to try to audition (next spring or fall), I'll be close to or at age 37. That's old in the dance world (unless you're Alessandra Ferri).

I feel like I'm starting to feel the age thing, which is annoying. Things get grumpy much more easily than they used to (hi, lower back and hamstrings). Of course, I'm totally out of shape from lack of dancing, so maybe its just that?

I'm trying really hard not to be so hard on myself, but sometimes I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't *really* danced in over a year. Of course I have no strength. Of course my calves don't match. It just takes time, and I'm impatient.

On the other hand, yea I'm not 20 anymore. But at the same time I can't help but feel like I dance better NOW than I did when I was younger. I mean..I didn't get triple pirouettes until just a couple years ago--I never had triples in my teens/20s! So...maybe the impossible can be possible.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Elevé Dancewear

Last week, Poets & Pirouettes reviewed a custom leotard she ordered from Lone Reed Designs , and sparked my interest in trying an independent designer the next time I want a custom leotard.  We started having a conversation about my experience ordering from Elev é Dancewear , and I realized, "Duh, Jackie! You have a blog now! You should review and talk about those leotards in detail there instead of hijacking the comments section of this post!"  (Sorry m'dear!)  Also, I've determined that P&P and I could be horrible enablers for each other (in the best possible way). (As an aside, you should go follow her blog , she is an amazing writer and fabulous to boot). Now, let's get down to business and talk about Elev é . 
4 comments
Read more

Final Challenge Update

Slightly delayed due to my being out of town! Apologies. I finished all three of my 30 day challenges, and only missed one day the entire month (my shoulder was bothering me and I didn't want to push it), which I'm pretty proud of.  Things I realized: Planks are still evil. The longest I was able to hold one was 1:20. Ugh. Lunges are evil but also kind of awesome? I hurt for a couple of days but in that weird good-hurt kind of way? (I may be slightly insane) I can't seem to do back flies without making my shoulder grumpy, so I stopped doing them and just did the others instead. My butt seems perkier (?) but everything else looks the same. All in all, I want to continue doing strength work (both arms and legs), but maybe as more of a circuit type deal, which I'll try to do every other day (as I keep seeing recommended). We'll see how THAT goes. I think blogging about these challenges was good motivation because I felt accountable SOMEWHERE. I'll try to k...
4 comments
Read more

The Very Latest in the Pointe Shoe Saga

I mentioned back in May that my Grishko Novas had started giving me problems because they were twisting (especially on my left foot). I changed my elastics (used something heavier and criss-crossed them) and that helped some, but not completely. My AD thought I might want to try something with a higher wing. So, when I went on a family vacation at the end of May/beginning of June, I did my usual and looked up all the dance shops in the areas I'd be visiting and ended up being fitted at two. First, can I just express my annoyance that, when I called these shops looking for specific shoes, I was informed that yes, they carried them, only to get there and they had ONE pair that was not in my size? That doesn't count as carrying them, people! Capezio Airess Anyway, at the first shop the fitter was REALLY into the new Capezio Airess (in fact, I think the girl before me was trying them on too), and I was subsequently fit into the 1133 (tapered) model. I haven't tried a...
3 comments
Read more