Returning to Relevé

I'm sure my fellow adult dancers can commiserate. What's the most frustrating, as someone who grew up dancing, is that I can't do things I used to be able to do. I was always a jumper growing up (especially grand allegro) and now I feel like I can't even get off the floor. Petit allegro is miserable for similar reasons, but also because I cannot get my brain and body to sync. I know the exercise beforehand and can mark it just fine, but once I actually start jumping my body just won't GO. I'm not sure how much of this is still weakness from not being able to dance for awhile and how much is...well...age. Ugh. Weirdly, though, I can do triple pirouettes now and never got those as a teen, so maybe its all in my head. Anyhoodle--updates! Ankle is definitely better--I finally finished PT last month! My flexibility still doesn't quite match on that side, so plies can be a little weird (especially in jumps...hmm). Its happiest when I'm using it-...

At the beginning of June, I traveled to Salt Lake City for the  artÉmotion Adult Ballet Summer Intensive , and it was THE BEST THING EVER. The classes were amazing, the teachers were amazing, the other dancers were amazing...I could go on and on. Plus Salt Lake City had some pretty amazing weather (sunny and hot all week, which I love). To sum up (I'll go into greater detail below), I HIGHLY recommend it and would do it again. In a heartbeat. With exclamation points!!  Side note: my ankle did fine, and I wasn't nearly as sore as I expected. More details on the program below for those that are curious.

"Plié is the first thing you learn and the last thing you master." -Suzanne Farrell This has always been one of my favorite dance quotes, because its so true. Throughout my dance training, teachers have always emphasized how important a good plié is. When I was teaching, I really made an effort to pass that advice on to my own students, though I don't think I really realized how far reaching it is. I'm currently struggling with an uneven plié and its making my life difficult. The flexibility of my right ankle (that'd be the Ankle of Doom ) still needs work. I can't get the same deep plié I can get on the other side. Landing jumps doesn't have the same squishy feel, and in pointe class recently, I struggled doing a simple tendu fondu to sous-sus en pointe (which requires a bit of a spring)--it was such a mess! I felt like I just could NOT push off the floor enough. Not to mention my complete inability to get off the floor for petit allegro. It's b...

Good news, everyone! Despite my complete lack of blogging (merp), I have actually been dancing. I've even performed in my home studio's winter and spring shows! Back in January I did a pointe assessment with my dance PT and managed to pass. She's been having me do relevés in pointe shoes on a reformer (and later at a barre) as part of my PT for awhile now, but it was still surprising to get the official "OK." That being said, I wasn't taking enough classes at the time (we're required to take three technique classes each week to do pointe), so I've been slowly adding to my class load, and only started doing pointe in class this month. The ankle is not 100%--it still gets quite grumpy from time to time, but its definitely better. It's been a very (painfully) slow process for sure. Anyway: the pointe shoe saga continues, more or less. When I started doing pointe as part of PT, I went and got a fitting, and was put into a Capezio Aria. T...

Good News: I'm still taking dance class. Bad News: As suspected, I've had to cut back on classes. I was originally attempting to take three ballet classes and one tap class but apparently this was TOO MUCH for the ankle to deal with (grumble), so I've had to cut back to just two ballet classes for the time being. I'm still getting tight in my peroneals/calf, and the PT also thinks that I still have some scar tissue from surgery to work out, but I feel like we're finally making a little progress again, though it was very much "two steps forward, one step back," for a bit. Definitely feel like I had to rewind and start over, but at least I'm still dancing. My PT has been working closely with the artistic director of another ballet school in town regarding dance medicine and injury prevention, and she suggested I try taking class with that AD because she would be able to really keep an eye on my shenanigans. I met with the AD yesterday, and it was ...

At the end of May I saw my surgeon for my last post-op appointment (following an episode of peroneal tendinitis, because of course). Near the end of the appointment, he told me I could start dialing things back to normal, and that I was good to go (though I would get some pain at the ligament reconstruction site for awhile yet). I forget how it came up, but I remember him mentioning the athletes he works with and how, because I'm a dancer, he has placed me in that category. My response was, "I don't feel like an athlete!" Then, you guys, I got a pep talk. He told me to focus on the things I CAN do, not the things I can't. Everything will come back in time. Even little steps are steps. He reminded me that I'm not just recovering from surgery, I'm also recovering from all the stuff that came BEFORE. When I thanked him for the pep talk at the end of the appointment, he said, "I give a few a day." Ha! He's right, of course. I started ...

Apologies for the non-creative title, but that's literally all I can think right now. A picture of me right now. I'm still plugging away taking class/barre, still have pain in my jerk of a peroneal tendon, am still doing PT, and am still super unhappy about how out of shape I am. The level of my weakness is really sort of unreal. It's like I haven't taken class in six years, rather than just one. The work and progress I had made prior to the ankle drama has just vanished into thin air. It's incredibly frustrating.

(My blog title has never been more appropriate!) I've taken a grand total of three classes thus far (two the first week, once last week), and BOY HOWDY am I out of shape. We've only been doing plié, tendu, dégagé, plus a little foot work and grand battement at the end (the other student in class is brand new to ballet, so the teacher spent a bit of time explaining things). My muscles are screaming, but I secretly enjoy that--I feel like I know I've actually been doing work. All the PT stuff. I'm still getting grumpiness just under my incision and then back behind in "the zone" (its where I had all the pain before).  I talked to both the surgeon and PT about it because even though having pain would still be pretty normal for someone only four months post-op, I was fretting because its in a similar place to where I had pain originally. That being said, it does feel different--less of a pinch, not as deep--just tender. Luckily, neither are especially wo...

It's funny how often I get frustrated with something, come and complain/vent about it on this blog (which is its own sort of therapy), and then a day or two later the universe is like, "Girl, chill. Have some encouragement." We shared class with the kiddos again the other day, and when we do center together we split into groups of "kids" and "adults." The teacher gives each group a different combo, they perform it, and then we switch places. We had switched so that it was the adults turn, and the teacher said to the little ones, "When you're waiting your turn, watch Miss Glorie [me]. Watch her upper body--she moves exactly the way a classical dancer is supposed to move. I never have to correct her." I was humbled, and flabbergasted, and thanked her profusely for such a compliment. She danced with BOLSHOI, you guys. Handpicked from when she was young. I don't think I could receive a higher compliment, really. (I still like correcti...

Six months. SIX MONTHS. Half a year of ankle pain of varying degrees (that still hasn't gone away). To say that I'm frustrated would be an enormous understatement. To make it even more annoying, I've been dealing with this issue off and on for nearly two years. I've seen two different podiatrists and now two different PTs. These past six months, I have not been able to dance fully. My relev é  is restricted (and therefore so is turning), and I am not supposed to jump (except rarely to demonstrate for students). I have basically (I feel) been half dancing for half a year. I keep diligently doing my PT exercises every morning, am currently going through two PT sessions a week involving the Graston technique (ow), and yet the ankle is still being a jerk. My at-home PT assistant is especially helpful. Current PT says that I have a lot of scar tissue (past sprains, wear and tear over the years) that is both restricting my ankle mobility and causing an impingement...

Does anyone else LOVE corrections? Well, it turns out that I really do. I've been getting increasingly frustrated over the last couple of months because the current teacher of the advanced class, while complimentary of my dancing, does not give me corrections (and Lord knows I'm not perfect). She'll sometimes give other adults corrections, but mostly she leaves us alone and concentrates her efforts on the teens/kids. Which makes a certain level of sense. I mean...she can't train any of us adults towards a goal like YAGP, or for auditioning to be in a professional ballet company. But that doesn't mean we don't want to be better dancers. In addition, she's been obsessed with choreographing a piece for the summer show so we haven't been doing much center work. We've also been sharing the class with kids, because attendance has been sparse. Barre and anything we do in center is fairly simple. Personally, I like having something to focus on, somethi...

Sometimes I see a fellow adult dancer go crazy town and DO SO MUCH (i.e. take classes at multiple studios, in multiple dance styles, every day of the week), and I start wonder to myself if I'm doing enough/dancing enough. Then I remember how easy it has been for my body to freak out and develop issues ( ahem ) when I overdo it. My body is not the same as their bodies--mine gets grumpy pants if I don't rest. (As an aside, will I ever outgrow this comparison crap? UGH.) But it makes me wonder. Fellow adult dancers, how much dancing is enough dancing for you? I realize that your answer will likely depend on why you dance in the first place; maybe even your "dance goals." As an adult dancer who wants to continue to perform (while I can), I find that I want to dance as many hours as possible so that my technique continues to improve and I stay strong, but not overdo it. Dance is also my happy place, the refuge where all my real-world adult troubles disappear. I...

Our summer show was last night, and I finally feel like I can relax. The whole week was stressful, what with fretting over the little ones and getting ready myself (and trying to remember all my choreography). Luckily, things seemed to go pretty well for the bitties.  Me, however? Ugh. I messed up little things in both tap numbers I was in, though both jazz numbers went well. We had two pointe pieces, one more modern in flavor, and one classical (a variation from La Bayad ère). The modern piece went super well, but the classical piece? My strong suit? I totally botched it. There was one pirouette section in particular that I've always had a little trouble with because I don't get my weight forward enough, and last night I lost my balance a bit and had to fake the last turn. Ugh. I also messed up the beginning entrance, and a bit at the end I've never had trouble with before. I'm annoyed with myself because the last few times we did it in rehearsal it was actually go...

My first teaching experience went pretty well, though I could tell near the end (before we played a ballet version of charades) that the girls were getting a little bored. They were very well behaved (likely because they're not sure what to make of us yet, heh), but I still want them to have fun, so we'll have to see what we can come up with to make things a little more exciting. I also somehow ended up teaching the beginning/intermediate adult class when the teacher had to cancel last minute. I only had three students (all of whom I've taken class with), so it was relaxed and quite fun. They were good sports, and I have a suspicion that I might like teaching adults over munchkins. I said something about it to the AD later, and she kind of smiled and nodded and said, "Everyone is different." It's obviously very early in my teaching experience though, so time will tell.

As previously reported, I am a right/clockwise turner , so you can imagine my surprise the other day in pointe class when I managed a lovely pirouette to the left, but barely turned at all to the right. I don't...what? I don't even know. My problem on the right is that I just don't seem to GO anywhere--it's like I lose all my momentum. I suspect that I'm springing up onto pointe too much on the right side, but I'll have to ask my teacher about it. SO WEIRD.

During a meeting between the advanced class and the AD recently, someone suggested that we add a stretching class after one of our technique classes. All of us loved that idea--it would give us a chance to work on our flexibility while we were nice and warm, and relax a bit as well. Well, apparently we got the wrong idea, because this class actually happened, only it was called "Strengthening, Conditioning, & Stretching," and involved lots of unpleasant things like jumping jacks, planks, push-ups, crunches, and lunges (oh, and a little stretching). I am not here for this. Now, on one hand, I like the idea of conditioning and working on my core so that I can balance and turn better and so forth, but I've already been feeling a little bit like I'm overdoing it (and my body is telling me I am correct ). I can't help but think that doing 100 jumping jacks is not going to improve matters. In addition, I dance (or take dance-like classes like Zumba) because I ...

I've been meaning to update y'all on the crazy that is my dance life right now (maybe even with pictures!) but I haven't had much of a chance to sit down, or to take said pictures. Rehearsals are going well, though are exhausting as per usual. Because we're doing a musical, rather than a ballet, a lot of the dances are in character shoes (with a 1.5 inch heel), and that is its own special sort of torture. However, if the title of my post is any indication, that's not what I really came to post about. I am completely and totally frustrated by pointe at the moment. After my original foot problem , I eased back up onto pointe and was starting to do full classes in them (re-conditioning ones feet to pointe shoes is no fun. Especially when one is still sporting a super awesome bruised toenail on one foot). Then, of course, my luck went downhill. Two weeks ago, I started getting some pain in the Achilles area of my OTHER foot. Saw the doc, and it seems to be a diffe...

I think most dancers favor one side or the other when turning, and a lot of us seem to favor turning to the right (clockwise), including myself. It doesn't matter what leg I'm actually turning on, but if I'm going clockwise, I can turn pretty darn well. I've even managed some consistent triple pirouettes and consecutive fouettés in that direction. I was having some major problems with the left (counter-clockwise). Doubles were sloppy at best, and there was no way I could manage a triple. We won't even talk about my fouettés on that side (ugh). I was getting frustrated, and the mental roadblock wasn't helping. So I started going through my mental list of what I was doing on the right that I wasn't doing on the left. First major difference? For some crazy reason, my foot moving up into passe was taking its sweet time. Adjustment #1: Hit passe more quickly. When I do right turns, I mentally visualize my opposite side coming around to help me turn (i.e....

Classes started up again yesterday, and apparently I have no self control and am an overachiever. It started out mildly enough.  I attended the normal intermediate/advanced class, only doing limited relevé, and did not jump (much to my sadness--sitting out of grand allegro was a little painful).  This class is followed by pointe, but because none of us are on pointe at the moment (everyone has been on break), it ended up being another class (except with tons of relevé--which I did not do, save for some turns and balances).  Despite my (poor) attempts not to do too much, things were a little achy in the foot when we finished. So, when I got home I took some Advil, and iced it in a bucket of ice water.  Happily, I don't seem to have done any major damage--I did a small rise on both feet this morning and it didn't ache (whew). I really have to remember to ease back into things properly and SLOWLY.  Which means both taking just ONE class a day, and fewer class...

I'm putting this behind a cut because it will be nice and long, and for those that are just cruising through, you won't have to read a mountain of text!